I rarely talk or write about these people, but after two and a half weeks with them, I feel like I
have to want to. Gosh, and where do I even start?
People said siblings fight and it’s normal. We did, too frequently. And not fight as in sakat, because sakat is cari pasal yang main-main because you still sayang, but we fight to payback and sakitkan hati, with a spice of real hatred in our heart, like why do you even exist?! And for someone who sure can hold a grudge, I sometimes got really mean, at least in my heart.
But that was before. This winter break made me realized how grown up they are now, we are. Yes, some words still scratch hearts, but the reactions towards those words wowed me.
Apart from sharing almost the same height, we shared this one bitter experience that we rarely or never talk about. We might not wear our hearts on our sleeves, but who else feel it better than ourselves? Maybe that’s why. When we try to hurt another, we realized that no one could hurt us more than he did (not to blame him tho), and we alone know how much we suffer. So, what’s good to break a broken heart?
And only with these people I feel like no one’s judging, when usually, the worst judge is within myself. I feel like I can be whoever I wanna be, the prettiest or selekeh-est people, and it’s always fine. Even if they do judge and make fun of me, I dgaf! But that doesn’t mean everything they say masuk-telinga-kanan-keluar-telinga-kiri for me, it means there’s no filter between their words and my heart. Even if they did hurt my feelings, give us 2 hours and we’ll laugh about it, hard.
We might not always share stories about what happen in each other’s life, sometimes blocked each other on social media 😂, called each other words like bongok, gila, etc, and made rough jokes (read: gurau kasar) that never seem appropriate for public. But that’s the thing, we only have it among us, not even with our parents or bff, just us.
These are special and important for me to write down because for someone who come from a broken family, I find it hard to have contentment (or happiness?) in family-related thingy, but then came these people…
Sheesh. Once it was us against each other, and now it’s us against the world. 😘