Appearance is not important

My right hand rub my eyes while the other searched for the alarm clock that probably had been somewhere on the bed. The blue clock was under my pillow. My eyes took some time to adjust before realized it was 3.44 o’clock in the morning. Still early. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. After doing my business, I headed to my bed to continue my sleep. When I got out of the toilet, I heard my mother and saw her feet. “Going to bed?” she asked. “Yeah,” I answered. I did not even look at her because I was too sleepy. I opened my bedroom door and switched on the fan.

Then, I remembered that I had to wake up early tomorrow for something important. I turned to my mother before I closed the door to ask for her help to wake me up tomorrow. “Mom,” I said, “can you wake me up later?” She was facing away from me. After I finished my question, she turned around slowly. In total shock I saw her. My mother, without a face. A blank skin, but staring at me. She said to me, telepathically “sure, I’ll wake you up later.” Then she walked off.

I stood in front of my door, frozen for about 20 seconds. I came into the room and turned on the lights. I took out all my albums since birth and looked at all my photos, all of them. Pictures of me with my friends and family were all faceless. Blank skin. I panicked. I turned on my computer to see the pictures I stored, all of them were blank as well. My mother, my father, my brothers had no face. I felt like crying. I felt tears coming out. It was then I finally realized, I too didn’t have face. How do you cry without eyes?

My mother suddenly opened the door as if she knew what happened. She said, “Don’t cry, child. There is no place for the tears to come out. You’ll get drown.” I touched my face. Nothing was there. No eyes, no lips, no expression, no soul. Then my mother said, “look outside the window.” And there it was every single one of my family members and friends. Faceless. They all whispered in my head “Appearance is not important, rite? Appearance is not important, rite? Appearance is not important, rite?”

It was driving me mad. I know I have a face, I said to myself. I ran to the kitchen to take a knife. I wanted to carve my skin and hopefully, there was a layer underneath, where my face was supposed to be. I held the knife tight; it was a meat-carving knife. I pressed my right thumb where I thought my eye is supposed to be. I wanted to carve around my thumb, hopefully peeling off the skin and reveal an eye. I took the sharp point and pressed, slowly slicing my skin. The pain was there but I didn’t care. I wanted a face.

I felt blood on my fingers and thought to myself, “this better work, I better have a face underneath this.” I did slice the first half, and then I made an extra large slice for the bottom half, just in case I missed the opening of my eye. I pressed my face with a towel and ran to a mirror. There I was, a knife in one hand, a bloody towel on the other and a weird looking circle on the right side of my face. No eye, just blood. And I could hear them chanted “Appearance is not important. Appearance is not important. Appearance is not important.”


p/s: this is just a dream
credit: EJ (twitter or web)

Zions NP – shoutout to daredevils?

Thanksgiving and Black Friday was a lot more like a blergh this year (I still spent almost $300 tho, I know right??!! 😓). Last year we had a chance to spend Thanksgiving, real-American-style, at Auntie Uji’s place, but the luck isn’t in our favor this year, especially my house, none of us get invited 😭. It was definitely an emotional, heart-breaking moment for us (over je kau!) to be left out and not included, sob-sob.

Anyway, lepak-ing at home doing nothing is still not a way to spend my 4-days holiday, so I joined Team Zuzu to Zion NP! It’s my second time and I’ve aimed the highest star (Angel’s Landing), since I didnt get to finish the whole hike on my first trip with bob, kak lina, hakim, and other seniors. It’s a 9 hours journey to-and-from. A total of two sedans (one is friends from colorado) and one suv left at 12am Sunday and reached back home before 11.59pm the same day, cool eh?

The first 2 hours journey to Zion NP was filled with Forum Perdana emcee-ed by Ety, with topics ranged from ‘Is it true that boys only like pretty girls’ to ‘Can boys really love two persons at the same time’ to polygamy. Well, it wasn’t that big range of topics, and was mainly aimed at boys 😏 but yes, fun enough to keep the driver (Kapten Irsyad) awake.

We stopped at a gas station before the national park’s entrance for Subuh prayer and some light breakfast. The first hike wasn’t that hard (I totally forgot the name of it, sorry!), more like a refreshing warmup. I swear the hike wasnt that long but we spent almost 2 hours (I think 😐) taking pictures, enjoying the sceneries, and everything.


Subhanallah, God’s creations are by far the greatest creation of all.


Cross-beddings and a fault on far left? #geonerds

The second hike was the gorgeous Emerald pool :). We finished up to the third stage of the hike and the end point was just mesmerizing. It was probably 2 hours loop trail, but yes plus an extra 1-2 hours of taking selfies along the way.

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Look at those cool rocks 😱!!! and oh yes, the so-awesome hikers.


Pardon these fossils 😅


Flowers (read: bunga) of the trip

Then, we had lunch of some accidentally-salty fried chicken, sambal sotong, white rice, and really breezy wind that left our hand to freeze. Oh, and the dessert, a chocolate cake especially made by Fish for Saha’s birthday! Damn it was really good 😋 Our friends from Colorado ended their hiking trip after lunch to go back home, as it took almost 11 hours drive back to Colorado.

After Zuhur, we continue our hiking adventure, with Angel’s Landing on the list!! Well, they did actually, because I was so tired staying up all night teman Irsyad drive, I started to get cranky and moody. So I decided to take a nap in car, and there went my highest star 😭😭😭. But on behalf of healthy happy in-car environment back to SLC, I know that I seriously need the nap.

I didn’t have first hand experience of Angel’s Landing on this trip but I could tell that it was awe-inspiring (closest synonym for ‘awesome’ 😅). The trail was hard, yes, but possible, said by a terrible hiker – me. The view, honestly, wasn’t that DAMN amazing, but once you reach the top, you’ll have this self satisfaction because you successfully get through a challenging, life-threatening, risky way to the end point. By successful I mean safe and no broken limbs, because you could die any point along the trail, like literally. More than 10 peoples died reaching the top, and it’s not impossible that many more will. Some titbits on Angels landing:

Distance: 5 miles
Average hiking time: 5 hours
Elevation: 1488 ft
Peak: 5785 ft
more on it here and other trails in Zion here.


Wefies from the top of Angels Landing 😎but no me 😣


Special photo of birthday boy who claimed to have the worst birthday ever 😂


These two drove me crazier each passing seconds, but are the best company I could ask for 😘

And finally, right after Maghrib, we drove back home, stopped by at HongKong seafood buffet at Cedar city for only $11, and was welcomed home by white SLC covered and showered by snow flakes and midnight city lights 😍.